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If I Were King Of The Forest…

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King Of The Forest

King Of The Forest

It is New Year’s Eve as I write this and I am thinking about what I would like to happen in 2014.  This got me to thinking about what it would like if I were King.  That thought made me think of the title of today’s blog. It happens to be a song from one of my favorite movies – The Wizard of Oz. Click on the link below to see the scene in its entirety on YouTube in its newly re-mastered glory.

Click here

If I were King…

  • I would appoint Jimmy Sad Eyes as my royal side kick and exempt him from taking a bath every week.  Read more about Jimmy here, here and here.
  • I would have my subjects work on only the most important research projects and pay them handsomely to figure out a way to make bacon taste as good as ever with zero calories.
  • I would limit internet browsing to only 30 minutes of stupid stuff every day.  I would enforce that on all in my Kingdom including myself. Do I really need to go back to the 1977 baseball schedule to see how many doubleheaders were played in September by the Pittsburgh Pirates?  What about reading a good portion of the 409 page Mitchell report on steroids in baseball? Read the dirt here
  • I would incentivize all in my kingdom to spend a half hour a day doing some sort of exercise outside at an age appropriate level.  Each week everyone who met the goal would be registered for a drawing to win a sack of gold from the Treasury.
  • I would create a holiday that required everyone to go to work and not use their email, instant message, text services or telephones which would allow everyone to get a in good productive 8 hour day at the office.  On this holiday, I would require a 1 hour lunch break that had to be taken at an off-site restaurant.  Anyone having bacon with their lunch would get a royal commendation.
  • Shaving for men on Friday’s would be optional (and the equivalent thing for women would also be optional).
  • I would make a proclamation banning Royal proclamations.
  • I would arrange for an hour long block of time on the Royal TV network showing all the funny moments from Saturday Night Live since 1997.  For the 59 minutes remaining, I would show a Magnum PI episode.

As you can see it is a good thing I am not King.  Have great week daydreaming about what you would do.

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Written by pacelinebiz

January 20, 2014 at 8:01 am

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