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March Madness…AND College Basketball

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This is a basketball

March Madness starts tomorrow, March 13th and the championship game is on April 2nd.  I am not a big college basketball fan but I will watch some games during the tournament if nothing else catches my attention.  For today’s blog I will describe a typical Saturday night at my house while the games are on.

It is 8 O’clock and the tip-off is in 5 minutes.  I have settled in to my favorite spot in front of the television which is not high def nor is it a flat screen.  Read more about my opinion of high def television here.  As I sit awaiting the game to start I find my lovely wife sitting next to me browsing the internet on her iPad.  This is typical on a Saturday night when we invariably are watching a sporting event.  Next to my lovely wife I have a beverage and the remote control for the television.  I like to call it “the clicker”.  

The game starts and I become bored because as stated earlier I am not a big basketball fan.  To keep things lively at about 10 minutes after tip-off I begin asking my wife questions that appear to annoy her.  I continue this until I am distracted by a funny commercial.  As I watch the game resume, the boredom creeps in and I am back to doing something that again appears to annoy my wife.  It is now 8:22 PM.

Midway through the first half*, I chase the dog (Jimmy Sad Eyes) around the house because he seems bored too.  Read about him here and here.  After chasing the dog around, I am winded and decide to sit back down and watch the game.  It is now 8:36 PM and I realize I am thirsty from all that running around and I get another beverage and refill my wife’s glass.  The game is tight and the lead changes hands back and forth as it is now just 6 minutes to go before halftime. 

I manage to sit through the rest of the first half without needing to prove to Jimmy Sad Eyes that I am the Alpha male or needing to bother my wife who seems content with her internet and the iPad.  As the halftime is about to finish the first outburst from my wife happens.  I am simply asking her some questions and making fun of her and she suggests that I should count the tiles in the bathroom with irregularities and report back to her.  This actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea so off I go creating a spreadsheet in excel for the task complete with special colors, fonts and a pivot table to make things interesting.   After about 20 minutes I go back to her with the results and she yells at me again and calls me “Douglas!” so I know she is really mad.  I decide to lay low.

At about 9:45 PM I get bored again and start shaking her iPad making it hard for her to read the internet nonsense.  I do this a few times and she appears to ignore me so I stop and rethink my strategy.  After watching a few lay ups and a missed jump shot or two I hit the jackpot and ask her what she would rather do make me a sandwich or wash the car.  Her response is typical and she tells me to knock it off or I will be sleeping in the basement with the spiders and the spider poop.  After careful analysis I have learned that this is my signal from her that I should cool it and switch the channel to one of many ubiquitous SVU episodes.  What’s the harm; it is now 10:00 PM and the game is a blow out.  That is what I call March Madness!

Have a great week and beware of the spider poop.

*To prove I have some basketball knowledge please note that I used the term first half and not first quarter.  In college there are two, 20 minute halves and in the NBA there are 4 quarters of 12 minutes each.  Okay, to be honest I had to goggle to make sure it was four, 12 minute quarters in the NBA but let’s not worry about that now.

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Written by pacelinebiz

March 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

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